What if my healing come through tears?

What if your blessings come through rain drops, what if your healing comes through tears. What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know your near. What if trails of this life, are your mercies in disguise.

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace.
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep.
We pray for healing, prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.

All the while, You hear each spoken need. 
Your love is too way too much to give us lesser things.

Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this night, are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear.
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near.
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love.
As if every promise from Your word is not enough.

All, the while, You hear each desperate plea.
And long that we'd have faith to believe.

Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this night, are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win;
We know that pain reminds this heart, that this is not, this is not our home.
It's not our home.

Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops?
What if your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life;
Is a revealing of greater thirst that a world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights;

Are Your mercies in disguise? 

Everytime I hear this, I swear, I lose it. It describes my whole life in a minute.

Sometimes, I can pray for everything to get healed.

But sometimes I feel like my tears, have fallen by the millions at a time.

Yet, nothing comes. No healing, even though the promise was made that I would get my healing.

It takes so long for me to get healed, if that comes anyday?

I can pray all I want, yet it is not on my time, its his. Can't my tears be enough to heal me?

I know my faith is enough.

Waiting patiently, while my tears fall by the millions. . .hoping that each tear, takes me closer to my healing.

I hope it comes soon. 

Shout out to my cute Chels :) I love her, and she needs some prayers right now, as she is suffering a lot, and is needing love right now. I wish I was well enough myself to ride up there and lay with her. She is a great girl, and she deserves her healing before mine. I will lose twice the tears, to hope she gets hers.

Love ya chels

Love everyone. 

Still waiting on my Ohio date, haven't been called yet.

PLEASE COME SOON.

Also, everyone please pray for me as i am not doing the best either.

BTW, i can't figure out how to load my videos, but you can find them along my FB posts, etc. :) Sorry, i don't feel well enough to try to figure this stuff out.

GO TO MY BENEFIT CONCERT NOW!!!!!

Everyone should go to the benefit concert happening in less than an hour!

It is from 7-11 pm, at Studio 600 (Or the loft as some people know it). 177 West Center street!

There will be awesome raffles and auctions!!!!!
ALSO, there will be drinks (soda and water to buy)
There will be a booth for t-shirts as well :)

Also, everyone needs to go right now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

(IF YOU ARE READING THIS, GET YOUR BUTTS OVER TO THE BENEFIT AND ENJOY SOME GOOD MUSIC :))

Thanks

SICK SICK. . OH AND MORE SICK

wwwwwwEEEEElllllppp,

I am pretty sick and cannot type much at all.

I just wanted to remind everyone of the Benefit Concert being help for my family and I. It is on Monday, November 14th, at Studio 600. It is from 7 pm - 11 pm. There will be four really popular local bands, as well as raffles/silent auctions. It will be awesome, and I would love for everyone to go and show support!

Also, we are still trying to get the ball on the roll for the Ohio appointment, even though i know travel is impossible. . .But, hopefully we can get in sooner than 6 months, because I need help, and I need it now. I am just slowly getting worse, and just not really progressing, and Quality of life can't get any worse then where I am at. But, I know everything happens for a reason, and it might be a while until I know all of the reasons why the lord made me suffer with these diseases. I know there is a special reason, and I have been able to meet a few people, and help them. I always joke around, that, EVERYONE BETTER BE LEARNING FROM MY ILLNESS, SO THAT NONE OF YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS LIKE I DO. Learn from my situation, so that YOU don't have to go through this. Although, everyone has their trials, this is my trial, and BOY IS IT TRYING MY PATIENCE ;)

Fun fact: Who knew washing your hair was such a chore/job. I no longer can do it, so my mom gets to wash it in a Grandma blow up thing that lays on the floor so that i can wash my hair. But, it's been 2 weeks since my last hair wash, and its time for another one, i just dread doing anything because it kills me.

Also, I am in need of a cute name for my feeding tube. I can't decide. . .

I also have a new found love, its called GREYS ANATOMY. If you do not watch this show, you are honestly stupid. It is amazing. Good thing i am only on episode 20 . . .I have at least 180 episodes to go to even catch up to its current season.

Also, Hershey, our puppy, well technically i want him to be all mine, is doing awesome. He is so cute. We are all adjusting, and he is definitely not going anywhere.

Also, I decided when i get better, I am trying out to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. DON"T LAUGH. I am overly excited to try out, when I can do a better trick then rolling over in bed ;) HEH HEH!

Last, but not least, School is a fail. I just cannot find motivation to do it and cannot do anything more than 5 minutes at a time because of pain. I don't know if I will finish by may. . . .but, I am trying. Try being sick and having to take a full time school schedule. . .Yeah, i am stilll at the beginning of the year in some of my classes. Woops. . ..

Well, go to my benefit. It will be good. Enjoy it for me since I can't go!

Alsoooo (This is my last also, i promise), YOU CAN BUY T-SHIRTS AT THE BENEFIT CONCERT.
So, if you didn't get one at school, go order a t-shirt, and help me create awareness for this horrible disease.
You can also text me, 81-592-3907 , and get a shirt through my family or I.

Have fun

Okay,

I am OFF TO WATCH SOME SISTER WIVES (Another show im obsessed with)

Benefit Concert!!

My benefit concert is getting closer and closer. It is on November 14th! Tell everyone!!!! It is at studio 600, and i would LOVE to see all of my friends, family, community, and colleges out there to support and raise awareness for this horrible disease!!!!!

I just wanted to thank the students who are putting it on. You have no idea how much it means to me. Its is truly a blessing to know that so many out there are praying, and thinking of my family and I at such  a hard time. So, thank you. Its means more then you know, and I am truly in aww of how many have already said they are coming!

I just hope every one knows how much i love and appreciate the notes, letters, gifts, flowers, hot pads, jolly ranchers, lotions, stuffed animals, pj pants, and SO much more. It really makes my day. Since I have such a hard time with visitors, notes and stuff has helped me to keep positive and it always makes my day :) Thank you all for all of your love! I am so grateful.

Also, I know people have been asking and patiently waiting to buy shirts, and starting MONDAY, Shirts WILL be sold at the school during lunch time!!!!!! You can also contact me, if you don't go to the high school and are interested in a shirt. I will let you know how to get your shirt!!! I would love for everyone to wear it to the benefit concert so we can get a pictures of them on all my friends!!!!! :) Contact me (cell) 801-592-3907 or at my house 801-489-5412! I will let you know how to purchase the shirts through the blog or through us :) Thank you alll!!!!!

Just a small update of my past few weeks: I have had quite a few visits to the Emergency room. I've been 4 times in the last 2 and 1/2 weeks! It has been pretty rough. My gastroparesis seems to just get progressively worse, and although we thought the stomach feeding tube (GJ) would help minimize my pain crises, it hasn't. But, hopefully down the road it does. My POTS is still a big problem as well, but since I lay down most of the time, it is usually fine until i stand or sit up. My nausea is now through the roof. Sitting up for longer then a minute or two,  i get nauseated and dry heave. They are currently in the process of scheduling my second scope in the past month and a half. They are checking to see if they can make yet another diagnoses called EOS. I am hoping and Praying that it is not that. For now, just laying here in my usual spot, and watching lots of netflix, and trying (attempting) to do my school work.

Another random little paragraph, ITS MY BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY!!!!!! WOOOOHHOOOOO!!!! The big one eight :) Its a happy/sad birthday for me. Hopefully I'm well enough on my birthday to chew and spit a bite of pizza or cake or something. LOL!!! But, my dog was an early birthday present, and is more then what I could have ever asked for :) LOVE HIM! You all should be jealous, because he is THEE cutest thing out there.

Well, thanks for stopping by and reading. I am going to attempt to keep up on my blog and on my website which is being set up as we speak!

Thanks everyone,!!!! I am alive, and that's about all I am. . .I am hoping for good and positive changes to come, or just to have a miracle and get better. Keep praying for my family and I. We need ALL the prayers we can get. Many have asked how they can help, and donations are a big help. If you feel you would like to donate, there is donation buttons. Donation are very welcome and will NOT go unappreciated. Our medical bills are never ending.

ALSO, I'm in the process of scheduling an appointment at Colombus Ohio, to go see one of the 6 specialist in the world in my problem. The appointments are out, at least 6 months! CRazy!!!! Hope and pray i get in, and hope and pray i am even well enough to drive to the airport.

THANKS EVERYONE <3 LOVE ALL OF YOU :)